1. |
Shaved (Like A Razor)
02:54
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Shaved (Like a Razor)
She shaved like a razor
but it's done with a lazier
and it's down on the bikini line
I tried to cross the border
but I got pulled over
by the forest marshal
on the forest line
----
I was in the wrong, I know
I was too far gone
burning 95 in a 45 zone
thinking something stupid
knowing that I shouldn't
when I probably really should've stayed home
------
I'm a little like I'm bad
and I'm a little like a dad
when really I'm neither of both
I like 'em smothered, covered
diced, capped, peppered and delivered
with a double dose of cinnamon toast
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2. |
Chevy Beretta
03:05
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Chevy Beretta
Chevy Beretta / small town / loud music
I'm starting all the fights that get started tonight
Tony and Jeff left their women for each other
now we don't talk to Tony or Jeff no more
------
oh oh how I'm gonna' like it
to tell the manager to fuck off at the grocery store
oh oh with God as my witness
when I get out of here I don't care where I go
------
Tonight I'll be drinking all i wanna'
and screening my calls with my caller ID
I don't have to worry about nothing 'cause I'm
'a taping all the episodes on the TV
------
oh oh do do… dee de….
narrow my vision 'til I can't even see
------
You see that white boy in the red pickup truck?
he's buck wild but I love him anyway
and he's the best around with a flashlight and a rifle
if you'd get him to Iraq then you'd get Saddam today
------
oh oh working for the lord
and taking out the people a'int meant to stay
oh oh leave the motor running
'cause I could use a charge on my battery
------
smoked drugs, made love, fucking under water
I can safely say that I've done it all
in a Chevy Beretta, small town and loud music
I'm running UP the DOWN escalator in the mall
------
oh oh I do what I wanna'
half the police in this county already know my name
oh oh I ain't scared of nothing
except for Jesus, my daddy and my ex-boyfriend Wayne
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3. |
Dog on a Chain
03:17
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Dog on A Chain
I'm a dog on a chain
and burden's my name
and no on cares nothing
about a dirty old dog
------
neglected from the start
it broke my poor heart
left here to die
in someone's backyard
------
I'm just a dog on a chain
and burden's my name
and no on pays attention
to a dirty old dog
------
my owner is a man
who works way too hard
but I need attention and exercise
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4. |
Fools and Sages
02:46
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Fools and Sages
(written by Jimmy Cousins)
Don't stare straight into the sun
because a blind man cannot run
but oh how I might have to lose my sight
just to gain it back again
and don't drive a car when it's lightning
some folks find that it's frightening
but that's why cars have got rubber tires
and a driver's side airbag
------
I believe that a fool has got more sense than the wisest sages
because a fool does just what he's cut out for
and he never gets in no cages
my life story got wrote by the good lord
and I'm just turning the pages
striking out for a home where the road becomes the sky
------
even if I became a reverend
I still wouldn't get to go to heaven
I can tell that I'm headed for hell
because of the things I've done
But it ain't nothing nice
when I get an appetite
my meth amphetamines
high-horsepower engines
and walking on top of the ocean
------
chorus
------
Sell my 3 piece suit
and let me lose my roots
and give me time to make up my mind
so that I can see
not to stare straight into the sun
because a blind man cannot run
but it ain't nothing to lose your sight
if you've got your Liberty
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5. |
Life of a Bear
03:08
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Life of a Bear
Big bear on the forest park
looking for a tourist he can tear apart
and bring back home to his family and friends
little bitty brown bear walking through the forest
finding little berries on berry trees and eating them
this is the life of a bear…
Wondering when the winter's gonna come
hibernating in a beautiful cave with a fire at night
this is the life of a bear…
Walking through the stream in the winter
eating them salmon when they're swimming upstream
this is the life of a bear
------
the first bear comes and people fly
…bear comes and people are frightened to death
you will hide, you will care, but you won't understand
bears all've got bear claws
bears live under bear laws
and bears will ban together
this is the life of a bear
------
the next bear comes and people fly
people won't sleep in the woods tonight
they'll go back to the neighborhoods
because they won't understand
bears all've got bear claws
bears live under bear laws
and bears will ban together
this is the life of a bear
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6. |
Night Rider
03:58
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Night Rider
Ride on night rider
roll into the night
you ain't no daily driver
and you don't take advice
creep on night creeper
bounce between the lanes
just recline your recliner
and steer with your knees
------
all alone on the highway
there's no other kind of life
with which a night ridden' loner
would rather waste his time
------
Ride on night rider
go on and take your rest
lay it down on the highway
and let it just roll off your chest
you can yell to keep yourself from sleeping
or just trust in the road
understand the spirit of the highway
won't let you lose control
------
chorus
------
Ride on night rider
roll your iron steed
jamming gears and kicking tires
have always been your dream
so fill your stomach with garbage
and sit down for days on end
drinking gallons of coffee
and wishing that you only had a friend
------
but you're alone on the highway
and you know how time can crawl
so thank God for Billy Joe Shaver
and Tom T. Hall
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7. |
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When a Ford Man Turns To Chevy
When a Ford man turns to Chevy
and angel gets it's wings
and the babies they won't never cry no more
there won't be no worries
and no need for AAA
when a Ford man turns to Chevrolet
------
but oh oh put your hands on the wheel
and tell me buddy just how does that feel
Heaven's hands are gonna' lift you up
when you're flying down the road in your pickup truck
the good Lord's one and only chariot
------
When a Ford man turns to Chevy
the anger will subside
and all that will be left will be
tires muscle and pride
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8. |
Red On The Head
01:57
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Red on The Head
I was born to have my hair in the breeze
with a cigarette in my mouth and a beer between my knees
talking to girls like any bad boy would
touching tithes in my mind and using real bad words
------
Red red red on the head
red on the head like a dick on a dog
------
I was just a pistol mamma' couldn't control
man, she used to try and love me but she don't anymore
and I'm diseased and dangerous but I feel just fine
I'm a mean mother-scratcher and I don't mind dying
------
Like red red red on the head
red on the head like the dick on a dog
------
and when I die I'm gonna' take my test
and I'll be flying with them angels once I cash my check
then I'll be reincarnated and I'll come on back
ready for the second coming/world under attack….
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9. |
Undercover Dad
03:30
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Undercover Dad
I must admit I have a fear
My eyes have read the words of my dear
daughter's diary
and I'm afraid if she finds out
I'll never gain her trust again
but it's a risk I have to take
to be a better dad
to be a better friend
------
So soft I say a silent prayer
"may daddy's little girl never know
what her daddy's done"
(but) now my cover has been blown
I've cried all over the page
…so much for "undercover dad"
------
Instructions on a hidden page
tell about a teenage party game
the kids call "sleeping bag"
and apparently it's wild
oh the things that I have come to know
would terrify a child
(or) would kill and older person
(things) like hmm hmm…
…they're unrepeatable
down right absurd
I'm gonna' be a better dad
I'm gonna' be a better friend...
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10. |
Silver Panty Liners
01:59
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Silver Pantie Liners
Them silver pantie liners
they set my mind to wonder
what incredible roaring thunder
is brewing on the other side?
Don't ever kiss below the belt
before you make a slight connection
A small talk conversation
or a locking of the eyes
Your pre-mature pleasures
they come at such great measures
a distasteful waste of efforts
will ruin the surprise
Buckling your belt
when and almost silent whisper
falls softly from the lips of a man
down to a stranger's thigh
I'm sorry
I regret this
and I know that we'll forget this
but the only thing that I am able to sing
to you, now, is goodbye
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11. |
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